Most women I know are either married or seriously involved and were that way before or not long after I met them, so this may or may not apply to them.
It has been my observation that, as females, we have a tendency to forget our friends the minute we meet a guy we're CrAzY about.
I'm guilty. I can remember being in high school, meeting a guy I didn't think I could survive without and completely forgetting my friends until the newness wore off.
Why do we do it? Is it because we expect our friends to be there waiting for us when the newness is gone, or when he breaks our heart, or when we break his? Because that's what friends are for, right? They're always waiting in the wings to help us pick up the pieces.
The same goes for new friends. When we make new friends, our older, been there much longer, friends tend to take a back seat to these new friends. Until one day we remember about those old friends and we make a stand to re-claim them as our besties.
I don't recall if I'm guilty of this one because I honestly can't remember.
And why does this happen? For almost the same reasons as before?
I can tell you that to be the friend pushed aside in either situation sucks. It makes you feel like crap. And it pisses you off. It makes you want to say things you probably shouldn't so instead you keep your mouth closed, or you blog about it.
And that is sort of the way I'm feeling today. Like pissed off, sucky, crap. And I'm blogging about it.
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Mother Hen...
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. I was talking about this very same thing to a friend recently. I am married, happily in fact, but I am among the lucky few that is married to a good husband with no control issues and a life of his own. Still, I think women get caught up in what they are supposed to be or think they should be and forget about what they actually WANT to be. For instance, I was guilty of this... I would complain of being bored or not having anything to do while my husband had golf, dinners with clients, etc. One day he told me to learn how to play golf, or play tennis, or just go to the book store. He reminded me that he never complained about watching the kids and in fact, randomnly offered to take them to the park or swimming so I could have the afternoon. The problem wasnt my husband or my kids or lack of time... The problem was ME. I made every excuse for not doing the things I used to love doing. For me it was that I only like certain people (sad huh!) I mean I can talk to a wall with no problem but there are only a hand full of people that I really enjoy spending time with and can be myself with. And just because I decided to take my life back and make time for myself and the things I wanted to do didnt mean they had reached that point yet!
It's funny how as women we limit our own selves, forget our friends and then complain about our lives. I guess we are a little complicated after all.
As I have gotten older and more mature, I have come to realize that people come and go. Friend come into your life and things are great and then they fade away. These things have always left me feeling sad. And I've always felt very blessed to have the same best friend for over 20 years. But even that friendship can get difficult to maintain at times. Because just like a marriage, a friendship takes work.
ReplyDeleteI have always been very shy, so forming friendships have been difficult for me. But like the previous commenter, I have been blessed with a husband who makes sure that I take care of myself as well as taking care of my family. Early in our marriage, he was always telling me, "You need to go get yourself some friends." Like I could pick some up at Wal-Mart while I did my grocery shopping. But he's been right. (Don't tell him I said that.) And he's given me the confidence to put myself out there and make friends. Otherwise, I would never be meeting a bunch of strangers at a local restaurant this Friday night. :)