Be the Better Person....?

My mom and I just had a "discussion" about me needing to "be the better person......"

Today is my cousin A's birthday, and my mom has already called him and is preparing his birthday card for the mailman. I, on the other hand, stated that I was not calling to wish him a happy birthday. My birthday was Friday and my phone never rang with his voice on the other end so why should I call him?

According to my mom I should call him just to "be the better person". But in my opinion, if my birthday wasn't important to him, why should his be important to me????

Another example.....

My younger cousin (different from cousin A above) was supposed to be a Bridesmaid in my wedding back in November. At first she was on board and gung ho. Then suddenly she was having issues in her personal life and it was World War 3 just to get her to meet me at the mall so I could pay for her shoes for my wedding. All she had to do was show up, make sure they fit and then she could leave!

When it came time to get the final fitting for the dress, again, it was like World War 3 to get her there. During those issues and a few other issues, I threatened multiple times to kick her out of the wedding- before it was too late to find someone else.

Who convinced me to leave her in the wedding because she'd come around? My mother....

And guess what...

The night before my wedding, at the dress rehearsal, she showed up still drunk from the night before! And then proceeded to give my wedding favors to her son to play with at my rehearsal!

The wedding favors that were for my child guests at my wedding. My own child wasn't even allowed to play with the favors at the rehearsal, so why should her child be allowed?

At that moment I kicked her out of the wedding.

After the wedding was over and done, she & I talked here and there and I basically tried to forget what she'd put me through about my wedding. And I had gotten over it....

Until the day of Piglet's 2nd birthday party, in April. On this day, that same cousin began texting me to ask why she wasn't invited because it would have been a perfect opportunity for her to see her child.

(Her child's father has primary custody and she is only allowed supervised visits)

First, I invited the child and whichever parent had him that day was to bring him over. Second, I had no idea where she lived, so I had no idea where to send an invitation. And third, every time she'd call me it was from a different number and I was not calling all over town to hunt her down!

And on top of all that, this was Piglet's birthday and I shouldn't have to spend it supervising someone's visitation with their child. And none of my family should have had to.

That day I finally told her to never call or come to my house again.

And once again, my mother thinks I should "be the better person" and forgive her for all that.

Why? So she can walk all over me again. This girl has walked all over me and everyone else in our family and you expect us to be the better people and act like none of it ever happened??

NEGATIVE

My mom thinks I'm ridiculous for not getting over it, and she said to me, "I hope you can live with all your anger."

To which I replied, "I've always lived with all my anger so it won't be a problem now, either."

But seriously.

Am I wrong in not forgiving & forgetting? In cousin A's case, maybe so....

but I really don't think I'm wrong about the other one......